I loved the movie because of a strong theme that stood out; Men and their mothers. There is a scene in the movie that summarizes this theme so beautifully. Jason the groom to be tells his widowed mother that she treats him like her husband and a boy and yet all he can be for her is a son and a man. Jason’s mother is shocked for she thought by meddling in his son’s wedding plans she was doing him a favor.
That scene right there just did it for me because it is very relevant in today’s relationships and marriages. Men who treat their mothers like their wives and their wives like strangers. I might be making enemies right now, probably with my future mother- in -law and future husband that is they ever read this. However, I’m yet to sign up to the institution of marriage but I’ve seen, read and heard of such scenarios.
‘Mummy’s boys’ that is what we (women) call them. To set the record straight I admire men who love and respect their mothers, it simply shows that they appreciate the efforts the female species have made to improve their lives and don’t take it for granted. However the problem comes in when mummy dearest turns into a demigod of sorts at the expense of his wife and kids.
The bible clearly states in Genesis 2:24 that man (take note, not woman) shall leave his father and mother (yes, even mummy dearest) and is joined to his wife and the two are united as one. And that leaves no room for mummy…awww!
After rattling the snake now let me hit the nail on the head, what I’m I driving at? Every woman will tell you that she hates to be compared to another woman, myself included. Comparing women is like aiming at the horizon, you will see it but you can never quite hit it or even reach it, if you know what I mean. My mother did that to me she compared me with another girl whom we lived with in the estate that she thought I should emulate. Her comparisons, innocent as they were, beat up my fragile self esteem and literally threw it to the dogs. Her standards were too ‘high’ for me. It was years later that I learnt that the girl I was being compared to wasn’t all that plus a bag of chips, like I believed she was. Worst of all is to be compared to someone else’s mother especially to the mother of the man you love (NB: remember mothers to grown ups have 20+ years of experience). It’s like him stripping you naked in public, crude as it may sound. It robs a woman off her dignity and womanhood. (Yes it is a word also)
Sadly, unlike Jason who knew where to draw the line as to how far his mothers influence would cross his decisions, some men never learn it. Its funny how some of these men who treat their mothers so dearly treat their wives so badly. Even funnier is that the more they let mother – in – law interfere the more their wives protect their sons who grow up to be ‘mummy’s boys’ just like their father. The theory of the apple not falling far from the tree is very evident here.
I detest the school of thought and knowledge that is preached during bridal showers to a bride to be, that she should treat her husband like her first born son and bichi bichi (Luganda for blah, blah, blah….!). To me that is impossible. I believe a woman should treat her husband like her husband and her sons like her sons, period! Your husband and your son are different like water and oil and there s no way in heaven or earth her husband can be her son.
Don’t get me wrong I have no qualms about a man taking good care of his mother even the good book (bible) commands us to do so. To honor our parents for it is the only command that comes with a promise. My point in summary is; men should be husbands to their wives and sons to their mothers and not the other way round. And as women and mothers we should treat our sons as sons and learn to let go at some point for the sake of their future wives. Comprende!
